Close Yet Far

[Taylor McCarthy]

Nine months

Just shy of a full, calendar year had passed since Taylor had seen his younger brother.  The elder McCarthy's return to the United States had felt equal parts homecoming and foolish misstep.  For the first time in what felt like his entire life Taylor had managed to scrape together some semblance of a life here only to toss it aside when the same family that he had shunned so many years ago came calling.  Should he have left in the first place?  He had known it would send what little he'd built crumbling into rubble yet the lure of family had been too strong.

Shoving the thoughts away, Taylor moved quietly along the dormatory halls.  He'd gotten the right room number from the student listings and figured letting a week of his being back in the States go by without letting Jack know was long enough.  Part of Taylor wanted to see his brother again, to find some way to turn back time to when they were young and gave a damn about one another.  An entirely different part of him hoped like hell Jack wouldn't be in his room.  Of course, Taylor doubted that.  His doofy, manic, wholly unorthodox sibling probably hadn't left the dorm in a week claiming there to be aliens trying to suck his brain or something.

There was no hesitation once Taylor had reached the right room.  If he dared let himself pause he feared he'd just turn on his heel and head away.  Instead he squared himself up to the door and gave it a healthy knock.  He took a deep breath and prepared for the door to open, all but expecting a fist or baseball bat to suddenly come flying his way.

[Jack McCarthy]

I TOLD YOU FERNANDO!” A loud and familiar voice boomed from the other side of the door followed quickly by a lot of metallic sounding rustling like someone was wading through a junkyard “I SWEAR YOUR BED LIKE THAT BEFORE! I DIDN’T TOUCH IT! I WAS FRAMED I SWEAR! I’M THE VICTIM HERE. PROVE THAT I LEFT IT ON THE BED! PROVE IT, THEN COME IN HERE! TRY IT I FUCKING DARE YOU! BECAUSE I WILL TAKE YOU OUT FOR A MEAL WITH MR AND MRS PAIN; AND BAT IS ON THE MENU! This threat was followed rapidly by a sharp THUDDING of someone hammering a blunt instrument against the door


“So why don’t you go tell you weight lifting yoke of a brother I ain't a friend of him! I’ll come at him like a spider monkey! LIKE A SPIDER MONEY! Jack screamed before opening the door up with his bat raised up already in a threatening manner his eyes bugging out……


….But eventually it became clear that the person was knocking on her door wasn’t a disgruntled student he pooped in someone’s bed but rather her long departed older brother who left him in his dust a long time ago...Jack face eventually went slack and calmed down as he looked Taylor up and down “ Oh. It’s you.”


Funny enough Jack wasn’t putting down the bat

[Taylor McCarthy]

Taylor didn't flinch at the rucous coming from the other side of his brother's dorm room door. He could only issue a resigned sigh and shake his head. He couldn't tell what this meant about Jack's demeanor going into the brother's first meeting in almost a year as the junior McCarthy always seemed more than a little manic and volatile. All Taylor could do was wait and hope Jack was in at least a somewhat lucid state when he opened the door.

Jacks ultimate reaction wasn't wholly unexpected. Taylor was used to Jack being utterly underwhelmed. The brothers hadn't been close in years and the resentment Jack held for his older brother was no secret. Their later years had been punctuated by more than a handful of arguments of varying levels with a couple turning into full blown fist fights.

"It's me." Taylor repeated, mirroring the same amount of enthusiasm and brotherly love as he'd received from Jack. The elder McCarthy studied his brother for a moment, eyes flicking briefly to the bat before settling upon the pair of familiar, brown eyes beneath a swath of unkempt hair. "I know we've had our differences but I'd think after nine months I could at least get a 'hi'."

[Jack McCarthy]

Yes, it was fair to say that Jack had an estranged relationship was….strained as best (But to be fair there was a rare few that Jack could say he didn’t have a strained relationship with, Jack was quite a people person after all, but this was especially true in the case of his brother where punches were more frequent than hugs (Which Jack always got the better of despite what Taylor would say)


Jack had quite a bit of sour emotions built up over the years for his dear older brother. Mr. square jaw himself. Call it pure envy, jealousy or just general emotions brought out by feelings of inadequacy brought out by his brother’s past and it certainly wasn’t helped out that HE was the one that had the somewhat functioning relationship with dad.


Jack stood there somewhat awkwardly shifting his feet back and forward and rubbing the back of his head “Oh right” Jack said gesturing at his bat “That's for someone else….there’s this guy….and a misunderstanding. You know how it goes” Jack said waving it off”


“Hi” Jack parroted back emotionlessly, not sure where to go next, he never particularly had a good relationship with his brother so he never knew how exactly these icebreakers worked “You wanna come in or….stay there ….or whatever”

[Taylor McCarthy]

Taylor nodded thoughtfully, taking Jack's response at face value. He wasn't in the mood to argue or even push for elaboration to whatever yarn Jack was spinning. He'd simply accept the story and attempt to move beyond the initial greeting.

If only it wasn't so goddamn awkward.

Another nod followed the stilted, quasi-invitation. Taylor slowly, almost carefully moved into the dorm. He stepped cautiously inside, glancing over his shoulder to Jack in the process. He never intended for such a wide rift to grow between them. If anything Taylor had always acted in the hope of achieving the exact opposite. Nearly every decision Taylor had made since he first left home all those years ago had been a desperate, ill-fated effort to close the gap.

"Yeah." Taylor said out of a simple lack of anything better to say. His hands found their way into his pants pockets as he turned, brow furrowed, gaze remaining locked upon the carpet beneath his feet. After a moment's pause he lifted his eyes back up to his brother. "So." He said, yet again channeling the awkwardness of the situation in his own jilted lack of conversation. "How've you been?"

[Jack McCarthy]

Yes, it’s probably wise that Taylor didn’t ask exactly why Jack felt the need to answer the door with his own personal trusty Excalibur. At this point in their relationship, Taylor should know that questioning Jack’s actions was a trap. The answers would only raise more questions and the answers to those questions would be more confusing than the last and so on and so forth. Taylor learned that at a particularly early age no doubt.

Jack stumbled a little as Taylor’s broad frame bumped against his Jack momentarily lingered in the doorway gazing back and forward making sure the hallway was clear for his own reasons before closing the door behind him and tossing his bat to the side where it smacked against the wall with a loud *SMACK* as it bounced off the floor, it’s natural hibernation place. The room itself looked like a bomb has hit it, dirty clothes and blankets lay in a heap on the ground, a laptop computer sitting unorganized in a desk buried under a pile of papers strange around haphazardly like a low budget snow storm disaster movie, there was only a collection of things that looked to be in pristine condition in the room; The Irish tricolour that hung up above the bed. A large leather bound journal that seemed to contain a list of countless names. And lying beside it what looks like an old and tattered  well loved photo album with a lock pad attached to it

“Oh, you know” Jack began in a lazy drawl “Just dancing in the moonlight feeling warm and bright” Jack muttered as per usual his hands gesticulating as he spoke “Think I accidently ate a bug the other day in my sleep...So you know, things are happening things are moving you know Jack McCarthy man of action” Jack nodded to reassert himself

“So how's tricks? How was home? H-Hows dad? Did he mention me? Was Dad asking about me? He asked as casual as possible as if the thought just occurs to himI left him a message a few months ago….Not that I care...I’m just busy being, a social butterfly...

[Taylor McCarthy]

Taylor abruptly stopped, turning with a frown as he accidentally bumped into Jack. Dropping a shoulder into his gangly younger brother was a common tactic for the former St. Bethany's rugby player but the nine months in the UK had served to subdue those antagonistic urges. Taylor's gaze followed Jack, the intent to apologize for the incidental contact interrupted by the junior McCarthy's curious investigation of the hallway outside the dorm room.

With a slow exhale of breath Taylor's eyes dropped to the floor before sweeping across the room to take in the anarchy of Jack's room. There were stops at the messy piles of clothes then the laptop with an interlude at the bat's final resting spot. There was barely enough time for Taylor to take in the immaculate flag proudly on display or the photo album before words started filtering out to cover the awkward silence that had settled over the room.

"Oh, I, uh, didn't spend much time with Dad." Taylor replied almost as if he had been caught off guard by the question. He shrugged his shoulders and gave a shake of his head in an obvious attempt to grasp desperately at the right words to say. "But you don't need to worry about all that, it was just a bunch of family bullshit. I wouldn't have bothered going if I knew how long it'd take to get back." He needed to cover his tracks, assure Jack that everything was as it had always been. And do his best to gloss over the 'dad' question because that was certainly a rabbit hole he didn't wish to go down.

"Yeah, about that." A bit of a grin finally permeated Taylor's somewhat disoriented demeanor. He turned to fully face Jack, even going so far as to reach out and playfully smack him on the shoulder. "How is that social butterfly thing working for you? You find yourself a girl yet?"

[Jack McCarthy]

...And Taylor hasn’t even seen the large and unsightly porn collection that was collecting under his bed. Jack was particularly proud of that, she finally managed to get them all in alphabetic order. Essentially the only thing that was even close to being organised in the untamed jungle that was the place where Jack McCarthy lay his head at night, you could tell a lot about a person from the way they kept their room and that certainly seemed to be the case when it came to young Master McCarthy

This was quite an occasion for Jack rarely did anyone have occasion to venture into Jack’s inner sanctum, with the rare exception dotted here and there, the majority of the school populous as a whole tended to avoid Jack, like a strange crazy homeless man who lived on your street that you were told to never, under any circumstances to talk to.

Odds are that’s exactly where Jack was headed.

“Oh right right right, yeah right yeah!” Jack said rain an overly casual tone slouching down against the way as if to say “Look how cool I’m being about this topic in general! That’s how little this means to me” “Right family stuff, sounds boring! Super dull...and you were gone for a….how long was it again? A year? A whole year? And you say no one asked about me? For a yea-Nip? Nada? Nothing? A total absent of Jack? Ok. Just wanted to make sure” Jack shrugging twitching his head momentarily as if wanting to shrug the entire thing off.

“Ahhh,” Jack said with wry smile “You know me man...I’m beating them off with a stick….Oh, not…THAT stick” Jack gestured nervously at the bat on the ground “I’m talking about metaphorical sticks not literal...That’ll be just weird…” Jack shook his head empathising that point Women right?Scientifically proven to be the most dangerous creature in the animal kingdom. Except for the giant gorilla, he would fuck anything up with its giant monkey hands and soulless eyes, but I digress. One moment they can take you to the heights of ecstasy and the next they can shatter your soul in a million pieces and rip out your heart with a single look.You know what? Who can even predict what the inner workings of the female mind? They have bizarre little fickle minds mate. Dad used to tell me; ‘Jack, a woman is like a tractor’ Jack thought out loud suddenly lapsing into silence “…He never went any further than that and I never understood what he meant. In hindsight, he may or not have been drunk..

[Taylor McCarthy]

"Nine months." Taylor corrected weakly. There wasn't much else he could say given the circumstances. It was times like these that made Taylor wish they could go back to when they were kid and everything was simple and easy. Back when it felt like the two brothers could take on the world so long as they stuck together. Back before he left the first time and destroyed any semblance of a connection he and Jack had. "Yeah. Dad asked how you were doing." Taylor lied. He didn't think Jack could handle the truth of who had asked about him.

"You're still bent out of shape over that brunette chick, aren't you?" Taylor had waited until Jack's long winded rant had finished before replying in a simple, flat tone. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. While Taylor was hardly one to give relationship advice he was at least proactive when it came to women. He didn't sit around and pine for a girl who obviously didn't wish to give him the time of day. He went out and did something about it, for better or worse. "Why don't you let that one go?" He asked, almost pleased they could slip back into their respective antagonistic roles. "What's wrong with that little, kinda weird chick you always hang out with?"

[Jack McCarthy]

“Nine months….” Jack muttered his eyebrows forming into a tiny crease of confusion, tilting his head in a truly canine looking manner staring at him at his brother in total silence for a good few moment as he tried to crush the numbers in his head -You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears as he did so….until quite suddenly he sped forward toward one of his many draws and opened it up revealed the rather surprising contents held within it; Namely? A crap tonne of what looks like a rather extensive collection of watches of all shapes and sizes and from the looks of it they were all on different times, working on different schedules and working at different rhythms. Like a magpie, Jack began pawing through these watches. Grabbing them, staring at its face with as much focus as one might a diamond, shaking his head before putting it back. Why was he doing this? What information was he gaining? As usual it would take an utter madman too find a pattern of logic in Jack’s behaviour, but there did indeed seem to be some kind of internal logic he was following because after going through a collection of watches enough to open the world;s most crappy watch store, his eyes flash towards one particular watch and then back to Taylor “Huh, so it was” Jack shrugged before tossing the watch back in the draw


This, of course, made perfect sense to Jack.


Jack instantly and quite visually perked up, his back growing a little straighter once Taylor gave him news of their father “Classic dad” Jack shook his head ruefully satisfied with the response. He’d drop it now, he got the answer he was looking for….


“Hmm?” Jack quickly shot back just a little bit too high pitched and casual intone clearly making a show of ever so innocent questioning what his brother was referring too,


Even though….yes he clearly did of course he did.


“You mean the lunch lady?I don’t know man, there’s a lot of girls…lot of brunettes….and a LOT of girls you know what I mean?” Jack winked picking up his generally cocky demeanor….But his eyes slightly darkened once he insisted Jack “lets it go”


Taylor of all people should know, Jack had issues with the phrase “Letting go”


“So hows…...What’s her name” Jack frowned going through the  broken rollerdeck in his mind “Lea? Lu-Lu? Lia?”

[Taylor McCarthy]

Yep. Classic Dad. That's exactly what it was. The mere mention of the made caused a spike of anger to flair up in Taylor's chest. It grated on his nerves whenever Jack spoke of their father. There had been so many times throughout the years Taylor wanted to express his own feelings in regards to their wayward father and yet he never did out of the belief there was so much that was better left unsaid for the sake of his little brother.

Thankfully Jack was far too scatter-brained to stick to one topic for long.

"Yeah. The lunch lady." Taylor repeated with eyes rolling and head shaking. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered attempting to have any sort of conversation with his brother. Jack was nothing but flippant sarcasm, ignorant dismissals and comments he (wrongly) thought were witty. "Shut up, Jack, just shut up." Taylor mumbled, trying in vain to bring Jack at least somewhat into reality. They both knew damn well Jack was full of shit but if he wanted to babble on like an idiot, Taylor wasn't going to humor him.

"Lucy." Came the stern correction. Taylor let out a frustrated exhale of breath, his eyes locking upon Jack and following him as he moved about the room. "I don't know." The simple admission soon followed. "Her phone was shut off a couple months after I left here and I haven't heard anything since." Taylor's gaze then dropped, eyes narrowing as he stared at the floor for a long moment. "You you didn't hear anything, did you?" He asked abruptly, glancing back up to his brother.

[Jack McCarthy]

No, Jack was not involved in some kind of torrid love affair with a lunch lady, but Taylor already knew that Taylor probably knew full well exactly what his romantic life was at the moment, the same thing it had been since before he left’ namely following and holding on to a crush with someone that was so out of his league it was painful, but god love him no one can accuse Jack of giving up easy. Too stubborn to admit whenever he was defeated, never giving on the fight no matter how hard he was getting pummeled.

It was kind of his thing...whether or not you believe that to be a strength or weakness is entirely up to you.

Jack was a dreamer, and unlike most people, he just never really stopped trying to make those strange little mental day dreams into a reality. Unfortunately, he never seemed to realise that fantasies….

“Hey I just thin- But...I-” but soon enough the massive bullshit machine that worked in his brain was momentarily halted when Taylor shut him down with a harsh word, Jack blinked his mouth bobbing down to and fro as if not sure what to do with this thought that needed to be let loose and free into the world before he eventually pushed himself done and waited for permission to speak once more

“Ummm Yeah I did actually….” Jack said a little sheepishly “.About a few weeks ago we kissed” Jack looked up making sincere silence eye contact with his brother...before breaking out in a sheepish grin “Ok, no. no, we didn’t I haven’t seen her in months” Jack seemed to chew over this for a good few moments before he sat himself down on his bed “....Girls are stupid” he said with grim certainty

[Taylor McCarthy]

Sometimes it became difficult to wade through the steaming piles of shit that spewed forth from Jack McCarthy's mouth to find the rare bit of truth that threatened to suffocate beneath the weight of the wet, sticky mess. Taylor at one point thought he'd managed to become fluent in whatever it was that passed for a language to Jack, though he was beginning to doubt that. He sighed, his head shaking right up until Jack made an attempt to be funny at Taylor's ex-girlfriend's expense. Taylor didn't believe for a moment what Jack had said but the sheer audacity of the words were enough to incite a narrow-eyed glare.

Taylor exhaled slowly. Jack's quick turn around brought out a nod in his older brother. Taylor issued a frustrated huff, his head shaking. He wasn't about to get into his complicated relationship with the enigmatic and volatile girl, least of all with Jack, though the uncertainty did creep into his features just before Jack's juvenile comment brought out a short laugh. "Yeah." Taylor agreed with a more enthusiastic nod. "They definitely know how to drive you fucking crazy, don't they?"

Eyes narrowed again, though no with malice. Taylor then shot Jack a look as an idea formed in his mind. "Come on, Jack." He said, instantly turning toward the dorm room door and started toward it. "Let's get the fuck out of here, have too many drinks and bitch about women."